"I deserve it!" eating

I can admit it - I often fall prey to "I deserve it!" eating. I'll get tired, or I'll accomplish something, and I'll think, why shouldn't I have that pizza? Why shouldn't I eat a cupcake? I'm an awesome person and I deserve it!

I do deserve happiness, as we all do. But eating sugar-y, fatty, calorie-laden deliciousness is only giving me short-term happiness. Dieting and saving money are similar in this regard. Sure, you want to buy something right now, but then will you be able to buy a house down the road? I'm now thinking about what I deserve long-term. I deserve increase strength and stamina in my yoga practice. I deserve to have my gyno NOT tell me I need to lose weight at my next  yearly checkup. I deserve to feel good about how I look.

Triple Yoga!

Red velvet whoopie pie, workout fuel of CHAMPIONS!

Yesterday afternoon I got ravenously hungry right before a staff meeting, so I ran down to the deli and grabbed a red velvet whoopie pie. And holy wow it was so good! Also it was (I almost hate to say this) a great pre-yoga food. I ate said pie at 2:30 and then practiced at 4:30 yoga and had a GREAT practice. By comparison, the last time I filled up on blueberries in the same time-frame, I got sick and had to leave class early.

This doesn't mean that I'm going to eat sweet cake and icing before every class. However, I might have a few crackers or a granola bar -something carby and sustaining.

Another thing of note about practice: I leave work with a great deal of neck and shoulder tension, which during my last few practices intensified into pain, making practice not fun. So yesterday I decided to be super mindful of that area of my body. I took modifications when I needed to but mostly I just kept a mental eye on the areas of tension. And voila, by the end of practice -no shoulder pain! It was amazeballs. I love how yoga can be so healing, just through movement and mindfulness.

Then I taught back to back and that was so super fun. I love teaching yoga!

Eating and Yoga

In all fairness, this was actually a Budokon workshop, which was REALLY intense. But yeah, that is me in child's pose while everyone else is budokon-ing it up.

I'm trying to crack the code of eating and workout out. I know from way too much experience that taking a heated yoga class on a full stomach is a terrible idea. However, lately I've been feeling weak and tired during practice, and I wonder if I'm in fact not eating enough before practice.

Also, I'm definitely carrying a lot of judgment about my practice. Lately I've been taking child's pose a lot, and modifying poses, particularly ones where my arms are lifted, because I'm experience a lot of neck and shoulder pain. (This in spite of all the massages I'm getting.)

Today for example I've had my smoothie for breakfast, and Blue Apron chicken breast with sugar snap peas and corn risotto for lunch. I'm planning to take 4:30 yoga, then have a recovery smoothie, and then I'll be teaching back-to-back classes. Will I be super tired during 4:30 yoga? Will I be super tired after teaching two classes? Will I stop judging myself for taking rest when I need to? Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion I s'pose.

Studying and Destressing

My certification test is next Saturday at 10am. So this weekend I shut down almost all social invitations and glued myself to my Kindle. I got a 91% on my latest practice test; time to memorize port numbers and PKI stuff! Also, acronyms. Sooooo many acronyms.

Since I haven't studied anything seriously in a while - at least not book-studied (yoga was more physical and experiential learning) - I've been pretty stressed and anxious about it. I decided to build in some stress relief by scheduling a massage on Saturday morning.

The exciting thing is, it was at NMTI, the local massage school. They have a clinic where their students get to practice... on lucky peeps like me! And it's only $35! You cannot beat it. It was a great massage and I'm so glad I did it.

And, I stuck to my shake for breakfast, food for lunch, shake for dinner thing! I was pretty hungry last night but I had some almond milk and was ok.

Back to studying!

Sad face

This is what I got when I googled 'sad face'.

I am currently in a low swing of the ol' depression roller coaster. I blame the dog psychic for reminding me that I have depression, and I blame boys for liking me, and I blame myself for not immediately telling boys whom I don't like that I don't like them.

Also, I'm stressed out about my certification test. I've been taking notes and studying off and on, but I'm also kind of over-scheduled with work and teaching, so I haven't had too many free nights to study. I basically have this weekend and next week and then my test, unless I reschedule the test. It's not difficult stuff, just a lot to memorize.

But ugh, the boys. It used to be you could just not return texts and they'd get it. But I guess now they'll just keep texting you forever unless you tell them to cut it out? Where is their dignity? I feel like a terrible person.

So yeah, I'm eating everything. HOWEVER, September is a whole new month. I'm going to do the Arbonne cleanse all over again! Shake, Blue Ribbon lunch, shake, and yoga. That's the plan! Wish me luck! (again!) I did lose two inches around my abdomen and waist this time around. Who knows what'll happen when I do it for real? I might even post before and after pics this time.

Growing Pains

I plan to go full-on Scrooge McDuck.

I put in my order this week for more Fizzy Tabs, fiber powder and vanilla protein mix. Now, I did do come comparative shopping first. After all, why should I pay for Arbonne's fiber powder when they have tons of the stuff at the drug store? It turns out that most commercially available fiber powder is milk-based. Arbonne's is fruit and veggie based. So, it's actually worth it to get it from Arbonne, I think. It is a high quality product. As for the Fizzy Tabs, I haven't found anything comparable and I just like 'em. So there it is!

I also just ate two croissants. They were delicious! They were also high quality: from the Hot Hot Bakery cart, and still warm. They were yummy. I have made a vague promise to myself to still stay within my 1600 calorie limit and go to 7:45pm yoga today.

Why so late? Because I'm teaching a free power hour at the office of one of my yoga students. She works for a nonprofit that fights female trafficking, and she's super nice. I can't think of anyone better to get a free class!

To counterbalance the free class, I posted an ad on craigslist for in-home yoga lessons. I got one weird response that I disregarded, and one seemingly legit response from a guy and his girlfriend in Fairfax. It's part of my plan for ORP Yoga. (Overcharging Rich People for Yoga.) I quoted a price that, while high, is still much cheaper than private yoga at the studio. Part of me thought I should just quote a really high price but I'm still seeing what the response is. Also I'm already pretty busy so I can really only teach on weekends at this point.

Anyways, my point is that I'm starting to take a few risks and grow here and there. It's baby steps, but it still feels intimidating. Who do I think I am, running around teaching yoga everywhere? Hence the croissants. But I'm stepping back from the abyss, breathing deeply, and reminding myself to take time to be grateful for all that I have.

Cookie Effects

C is for afternoon work-related stress and sleepiness cure.

Yesterday I was very tired. Really sleepy. Falling asleep at my desk sleepy.

I'd had my Arbonne shake for breakfast, and then Chipotle for lunch. I was tired, and work was kind of annoying - I'm helping on a project where I'm getting wildly inconsistent information from various groups of people and trying to sort it out - and long story short, I went to the deli in the office and got some oatmeal raisin cookies.

The cookies didn't magically solve my problems, and in fact I noticed pretty soon after eating them that I felt kind of bloated, and my stomach started to hurt a bit. Normally my stomach only hurts when I eat too much. So this was definitely an a-ha for me! I honestly hadn't expected this when I started on the Arbonne 30 Day Fit Kit. I'm now noticing the effect food has on how I feel.

I went home and slept for four hours. I think I very much needed to. Then I got up and did some stuff, and then went back to bed. Ah, sleep.

Today is a teaching yoga at work day, and then teaching at the studio tonight! Between work and studio I'm going to be cooking a Blue Apron meal: lamb sausage with french lentils and sauteed veggies. Should be deleeshuuus....

Super Sleepy

I'm having a sleepy day. My alarm went off and I snoozed it for a long time, and then it was a physical effort to get upright. I attribute this to my fairly intense weekend and to going to yoga at 6pm last night and then teaching at 7:45pm.

I've been having some neck tension lately, and it has been getting in the way of my practice, so I decided to go to the Chinese massage place in the mall. It looks kind of sketchy - they don't have rooms, just cubicles, and the music is the mall music. However, the massage was awesome. It wasn't super relaxing; it was more like getting all the kinks beaten out of my neck and shoulders. There were times when I was like, ok, when is this going to stop? But when I got up from the table I felt amazing and had much better range of motion. 

At the 6pm class I was one-on-one assisted again, only this time I didn't show off, and I took it way easy when I needed to. It was still a very challenging class, but I was able to function afterward; always a good thing. Also my assistant was great. Getting a good one-on-one assist is kind of like getting a massage. Also, she helped me get both feet off the ground in side crow, something I've bene struggling with.

But what does all this have to do with the Fit Kit? Well, here's how that's going: I've been having my shake for breakfast, and avoiding dairy, wheat, pasta, etc. I have slipped and had some cookies here and there. For the most part though, I'm definitely seeing the correlation between eating Arbonne style and feeling physically good. The 30 day aspect is technically coming to a close, but I think I'll continue. I've definitely cut way down on wheat and carbs, and that's been great, and I am eating more veggies. Also cutting dairy has been good for me. I don't miss cheese nearly as much as I thought I would.

Oddly, the thing I love most are the energy fizz sticks. Who knew B vitamins were so awesome?

Isn't dating the BEST? <-- insincerity

I'll see your depression and raise you an Asperger's syndrome.

Yesterday I took a Budokon workshop, which was awesome. I left 45 minutes before it was over, because I could feel myself getting to that over-tired, maybe about to throw up place, and I decided not to take any chances, cuz I had a date! And I didn't want to be all exertion-sick and trying to recover.

Alex picked me up, which was nice, and took me to eat sushi in Vienna. We were having an ok time but something did seem off - sometimes I'd be telling a story and Alex would go off on a tangent, with seemingly not much interest in how my story ended. Now, it could've well been that my stories are boring, but then he explained that he has Asperger's syndrome, which is a high-functioning form of autism.

So, as I understand it, when people have autism or asperger's, they have to learn to interact with 'neurotypicals'. So when I said I didn't notice that Alex was aspergery, he said he was pleased, because that means he's doing a good job of hiding it. So that's a bit off-putting, just because in a dating situation you want someone to be themselves, but Asperger's people being themselves doesn't work in a social setting.

He's still cute and nice and stuff and I'm going out with him again, so we'll see what happens.

Yesterday a Dog Psychic Called Me Out on My Depression

I opted to sleep in yesterday, after the rather intense yoga experience of Friday. When I woke up, around 10am, I heard my roommate, Nicole, in the living room talking with an older woman. She was asking questions about Nicole's two Saint Bernard mixes, Brandy and Brutus. (Brutus' actual name is Judas, but I just feel weird calling a dog Judas. So I refer to him as Brutus in polite company. He answers to either, or to "Hey you! Come have some chicken!)

Anyways so I thought she was a new dog walker maybe. Then I heard that the woman was beginning every sentence with, "She says to tell you..." or "He says to tell you, he knows he's a very handsome boy" and then I knew she was actually... a DOG PSYCHIC!

God bless Craigslist and how it's made living with complete strangers an exciting and fun possibility. None of my friends would ever hire an animal psychic. But because I live with a sweet young woman who's gotten very into alternative medicine both for herself and her dogs, I got to overhear a dog psychic in action.

At first she was just giving common sense dog training advice, nothing too crazy. Then she got into personal questions and statements about Nicole's future. Then apparently Nicole's deceased grandma got to put her two cents in, and at that point I stopped eavesdropping, because legit or not, I don't mess with no spirits. Seriously. No ouija boards or seances for me, please!

After the psychic left, Nicole and I chatted about it. I was of course curious of she'd said anything about me, and she had. She said she sensed my depression, and that we should open the windows more often to let the psychic funk out.

I always feel kind of dumb when someone recognizes my depression. It's the kind of thing where I know I have it, I take medication for it, and sometimes I just forget it's there, but obviously it's manifesting in some way. I think I'm doing pretty well and feeling ok, but then sometimes I wonder if I could be doing better. The psychic also said I'd do better out on my own. What is it with people pushing me to my full potential? I say, only half-joking. I guess it's time to get on that, huh?

Sometimes I throw up after yoga

Yesterday I was scheduled to be one-on-one assisted by one of our up and coming assistants, Nina. Nina is awesome and I was really looking forward to it!

For food context, I'd eaten a Chipotle bowl with steak for lunch at 11am, and then went to the froyo place for strawberries, blueberries, raspberries and a few marshmallows and crushed oreos for a snack. What I didn't do, I'm realizing now, is hydrate enough. I'm not sure that was the issue but it probably contributed.

So I was also freaking out some more about dating this dude. He's one of those who types 'LOL' after every texted sentence. I'm one of those who doesn't like that. So I was being too critical, and then beating myself up for being too critical, and being excited to see him again, and feeling tired and overstimulated and my brain was a circus, a CIRCUS I tell you!

We began to flow, and I did the thing I do when I'm being one-on-one assisted - working really hard to impress my assistant. That's kind of awesome because I get to my edge in all the poses. It sucks because I go too far and get really tired. I was also giving live feedback when I could and judging myself for judging again and STILL thinking about Alex (the dude in question.)

Long story short, I developed a headache and the shakes and had to leave during pidgeon. I gave my feedback to the very understanding Nina, and drove home. I took a hot bath and waited for the inevitable reverse peristalsis. I think what happens is my body gets into a place of "we can't deal with this until what's in your stomach is out of your stomach." So I threw up a whole bunch of semi-digested berries (sorry, I know it's gross.) Then I lay down for a couple of hours, slowly hydrating.

What sucks about this is I know it's going to happen, and I know it's pointless to try to hydrate before it happens. So I have about an hour of waiting for my body to do what it needs to do before I can start the recovery process.

On the plus side, the Arbonne energy fizz sticks are great to hydrate with post-throwing up!

Why yes, I am afraid of success!

Go big or go home.

I fell off the wagon pretty hard yesterday. After having an unsatisfactory Greek salad for lunch, I moseyed to an Italian bakery and got a caramel walnut bar and two small chocolate chip cookies. Then I got three more regular-sized chocolate chip cookies from our office deli an hour later, and then we went to happy hour at Mussel Bar, which has amazing crusty bread that they kept bringing, and we all got fries with various mayo-based dipping sauces.

I'm proud to say I did make it to yoga afterward, and even though I got crazy heartburn I think it was good for me. I definitely felt better after, and I did do some delicious wheels.

So why the massive need to cram sugar and carbs in my face? I think it's because I accomplished things this week. I did some good work at work. I got down to a weight I haven't been at in a while. I set up a new karma yoga class for a friend's office in DC. And... I had lunch with a former coworker, who's really cute, and we both admitted that we wanted to hang out when we worked together but figured it wasn't a great idea, but now we don't work together so.... we're hanging out now.

So obviously all of that is freaky and weird so I needed to numb out from feeling good. Weird, right? I guess feeling excited and optimistic is as frightening as feeling sad/angry/whatever.

I'm back on the wagon today, and reminding myself that this is for life, so a few cookies are ok. Here's to a fantastic weekend!

I love my hair!

I got a keratin treatment last weekend, and OMG. I love my hair! Check it out:

This is the first time I've gotten it done, and I can't believe I waited this long, cuz I love it so much! (I waited because it's normally quite expensive - I got a deal, and also it has formaldehyde in it - gross. But it works!)

I'm amazed at what a difference it makes in how people react to me. I dunno if everyone knows this or not, but people be RACIST, yo. I'm not black, I'm not even hispanic, but damn if people aren't slightly more nice and respectful when I have straight hair. There's also a marked difference in how dudes react to me - it's as if I was invisible and am now visible. If this is how it is with a wavy/frizzy haired white girl, I can't even imagine the metric ton of crap black women must go through with their hair.

Eenyways, so I'm feeling good. Also this morning I saw a number on the scale I've not seen in a while, too long! So yay!

This afternoon I have a work happy hour (I won't be drinking) and after that I'm getting my lame ass to yoga, darn it all! I've been letting the story "I'm too busy, I'm too tired" get in the way of my practice, and now my body is craving many delicious heart-opening wheels.

Special Edition: The Things People Say About Food Often Get Me Down

Miss Manners says you shouldn't discuss politics or religion in polite company. I think food should be added to that list. Food is the new religion, at least in terms of people constantly going on about how their way is the only way. I guess it's first-world problems, but dang people!

So this morning I had my Two Moms in the Raw bar on my desk. My boss (a very nice guy in general) picked it up, read the ingredients, and said, "Wow. That's so raw it's like eating DIRT." I got super annoyed super fast, but I didn't say anything - I just kind of looked at him. I let it go, but I thought the comment was suuuuuuper douchey. Like, leave my food alone. Why do you care what I eat? Who cares? So what if I want to eat raw nuts and grains? Shut it.

Then there are the things people post on Facebook, like this:

Here's my main beef (heh) with this: NO ONE KNOWS WHAT CAUSES CANCER. Repeat after me: NO ONE KNOWS WHAT CAUSES CANCER.

Sure, we know that people who've been exposed to certain carcinogens are more LIKELY to get certain cancers, but in terms of clear cause and effect? No one knows. Even if you bathe in Fukushima groundwater or wear a plutonium bracelet. Let's say you do that - when will you get the cancer? What kind will it be? Ya just don't know. Remember the smokers who have lifelong habits and never get lung cancer - those people exist. For my money, living is what causes cancer - if you live long enough, you're probably going to get cancer.

So please stop telling me that certain foods du jour cause cancer. Sure, the poster would have less impact if it said "Top 10 Probably Not Super Good For You Foods" but at least that'd be accurate.

I've cut many of the things on this poster out of my eating, and I'm positive I feel better for it. At the same time, ugh, shut it. :)

Non-weighted issues

I realize I've been sharing mostly about how the cleanse is affecting my weight and the inches around my waist. I know a lot of people do it for different reasons, to improve energy, skin tone, digestion, etc. So, I thought I'd share some about non-weight changes I've noticed.

I didn't have digestion issues before the cleanse. I will say that things are movin' along quite nicely and regularly and without any sudden surprises. So that's good! But it's not a huge difference from before.

I did have a big problem with energy levels, though. Specifically, I had a problem with sleepiness, to the point where I thought maybe I was narcoleptic. It happened after lunch, and between 2 and 3pm, although it was also happening in the morning after my two cups of coffee. (Two large cups of coffee.) I'd be sitting at my desk and my eyelids would droop and fall. It was a physical effort to keep them open, and nothing seemed to help - taking walks, drinking more coffee, nothing. Embarrassingly I'd even fall asleep during meetings. Not all the way asleep, but my eyelids would droop and I'm sure it was very obvious that I was having trouble staying awake.

I'm happy to say that's no longer an issue! I think it's a combination of cutting wheat, eating fewer carbs in general, and cutting caffeine. Oh, and cutting down on sugar - I'm sure that doesn't hurt! Don't get me wrong, I can still nap at a moment's notice, and falling asleep at night is one of my favorite parts of the day, but I'm sleeping when I want to, and not sleeping at work. Victory!

This is the kind of birthday cake I used to prefer - grocey-store bought, lard-based buttercream icing and plenty of it! AKA a recipe for falling asleep at my desk.

Special Edition: I didn't eat the cookies

I just finished my stressful meeting, yay! Also, this meeting is a quarterly event where we invite everyone at the agency to come and hear about IT Innovations. Usually attendance is sparse so I suggested providing cookies, so we did. (And more people did come. Cookies = attendance.)

There are various reasons why this meeting stresses me the eff out - it largely has to do with meeting publications deadlines weeks out and then organizing speakers and slides at the last minute. The end result is I wanted to shove all those cookies in my face. But I didn't shove ANY of those cookies in my face! Totes savin' it for Rus Uz. I feel triumpant!

Shake for lunch!

No body dysmorphia here! Just furry unconditional love. Especially if you have some chicken to share.

Today I'm meeting my mom for dinner at Rus Uz after work. Rus Uz is the unfortunately named but pretty good Russian-Uzbecki restaurant in Ballston. I'm kind of hooked -I've been three times. Russian food isn't great but it is my heritage, and there's something about the place that makes me feel at home. Maybe it's the way you can order something and the twenty-something waiter looks uncomfortable and says, "Unfyochunately, ve don't khev." Maybe it's the beautiful china and wine glasses in the midst of fast-casual dining mecca Arlington. Maybe it's the way the website says they open at 11, but really they don't open until 11:30.

My dad refuses to go because there'll be too many Russians there. He knows he's bound to get into conversation with someone he doesn't want to talk to. Such are the perils of being a gregarious grouch, as he and I both are.

But my mom's heard enough about it and wants to go, and I don't need much arm-twisting. So, today I'm going to have a shake at work for lunch! I'm going to go to Protein Bar and get them to make me a shake but use the Arbonne protein. They have almond milk so it's perfect. I might be kind of hungry during the day, but I have an important and fairly stressful meeting today, so I think I'll be pretty well distracted.

And, we're about halfway through! How crazy is that! Cheers!

Opting Out: Only Sometimes an Option

On Thursday I emailed my friend Cate telling her that I was stressed out, waking up at 3am in a panic, and generally on edge. I said that I was worried about bills, work, and having enough time to study for a certification test I'm taking at the end of August. I said I was so worried that I was thinking about skipping a birthday boat cruise we were going on, and I asked her to remind me not to skip it.

She, being a sane and wonderful person, agreed that if I were to skip the boat cruise, I'd probably spend Saturday night watching TV instead of studying, and that it's in fact important to do the fun things especially in times of stress. And of course, she was right.

I'm now on the other end of the weekend, and I've paid some bills and done some studying. The whole episode had me reflecting on a thing I do when I'm trying to get healthy/lose weight/accomplish some goal: I tend to try and opt out of things. I think if I just turn down the happy hours and family dinners and brunches with friends, I'll be able to stick to my eating plan.

That's not much fun tho'. On the other hand, I've never been capable of doing what the ladies' magazines promote: go to the party, but eat only crudites! Have a small amount of the fatty stuff and drink water for the rest of the evening. Abstain from alcohol cuz it'll make you eat more!

So what do I do? As always, the compromise, the happy medium, the all things in moderation concepts are my friends. I went to the lamb chop family dinner but didn't eat the potatoes. I went on the boat cruise and had some booze, and then ate pretty moderately on Sunday.

I did turn down a mac'n'cheese dinner offer for tonight from my dad. I have no control around mac'n'cheese and I've been great about avoiding pasta and dairy - so I'ma keep that up! There's a fast coming up in our church; I'll join them for a lenten dinner. :)

The scale is unchanging, but the numbers are still good!

So the scale is stubbornly set on 192, but I've lost some inches around my belly button and waist. Hoorah!

It's been a fun weekend. On Saturday I sub taught Power Sculpt. I'm always nervous to teach it because it involves doing the exercises along with the class. Taking the class always destroys me but somehow I'm ok when I teach. So that was fun, and then I got a back alley keratin treatment for my hair!

Ok, it wasn't back alley, but it was by a girl who used to own a salon who now does keratin treatments out of her condo. One of my Facebook friends posted a before and after recommending this girl, and so I reached out, because I've always wanted non-frizzy hair. I like the wave and the curl, but the frizz got to GO! But usually it just seems too expensive. This lady's got the right price for me. And, turns out, she goes to my yoga studio! Awesome! Anyways, I lurve my new hair.

Then I went on a birthday boat cruise down the Potomac, celebrating my friend Danielle's birthday. It was very nice, and I double fisted over-priced white wine and also had some beerth. I was aimin' to get a little drunk, is my point. And I did! Mission accomplished. It made it a bit easier to talk to a guy I nicknamed "Douchey Joe" (not to his face.) Douchey Joe was from Brooklyn and had emo hair and just seemed kind of complainy. He probably doesn't deserve the nickname, but it's too late! I already nicknamed him.

This morning I had a chance to practice good habits. We went to a great neo-soul food place for brunch, and instead of shrimp and grits, I got steak and eggs. AND the vegan gumbo, which was full of tasty veggies.

Then this afternoon I prepped more food, including lamb with ponzu mint sauce and a bunch of Chinese broccoli. I'm set for lunches this week!

This week will also be stressful, I think, but my plan for recovery doesn't involve drinking lots of wine - I'm planning a sleep a lot weekend. I'll go paddle boarding if the weather's nice, but otherwise Saturday's for sleepin'. And studying for a certification.

Cheers!

Special Edition: Happy Friday!

My last post was kind of a downer (and I'm still hungry... but it's not as bad today) so here's a video of me dancing in a Bollywood recital in 2010. Look how chubby and cute I am! The guy in the middle brought an entire screaming fan club of ladies - they're all in the front row, contributing to our energy. Note to dudes: sign up for Bollywood. Chicks love a guy who can dance.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lFK9jWmXrrI

Happy friday! 

Tired, stressed and craving!

I'm tired, due to some over-scheduling, and stressed, due to work being stressful. Perhaps that would explain my urge to cram a bunch of cake in my face, or to go out and have five or six drinks. I held it together for the most part - I did stop at FroZenYo by my work this afternoon, but I filled my cup with fruits and a few maple walnuts. Ok, there was some peanut butter in there too. But I didn't go crazy on some cupcakes or anything.

I went to my first Iyengar with my boss, Janet. She's a yogi and is moving to Seattle in a couple of weeks, and I've always wanted to go to a yoga class with her. We both wanted to try the Iyengar studio, so we dropped in to a Level 1. It was neat! In Baptiste I feel we oversimplify sometimes, and rush alignment. I definitely learned some new things, including a new arm bind in Eagle. So that was good times! But now I seriously just want to go to bed.

I don't know if it's just the stress, or if the days of eating differently are finally catching up, but I really am noticing hunger and cravings.

Tired. Sleepy. Weary. Zzzzzz

Today I taught a free power hour (again! And again 25 people!) yoga class at work, and one lady fell asleep and started snoring IMMEDIATELY in savasana, and I was like, I hear you sister. Today was super busy at work, and I'm still just back from my weekend trip, and am working and teaching and cooking... and today I just got kinda tired. I came home after work for a nice long nap, and then got back up to teach my regular Wednesday night class, which was awesome, but I started slurring my words at one point. I think I need to sleep for most of one day. And, sad note, it's probably not going to be this weekend. Note to self, stop over-scheduling.

But, anyway. Today was my first 'cleanse' day! I'd read some not great things about how the liquid cleanse stuff tastes, but I thought it tasted ok. I mean, there's a strong taste of prune juice, but that seems par for the course. Also, while I took care to drink it slowly and be near bathrooms (at work the bathrooms are plentiful) I wasn't running to them by any means. We'll see how tomorrow goes!

This is my parents' cat, Lady. She likes to sit on books, especially if it's one you've been reading and have put down for a second.

Post-indulgence hunger

In my great quest for a life-long healthy weight, I've been working with an awesome dietitian for the past year or so. She once told me that when you eat a lot, like if you have one really big meal, your body will think you're stocking up for a long time of no food, and you'll feel hungrier for the next day or so. Based on my day yesterday, that's definitely true. I was starving for most of the work day, just really hungry. I kept drinking water and tea but it was kinda rough. I think it's because I had delicious pasta and ice cream this weekend, and now my body's all FEED ME SEYMOUR.

I'd brought my pork with plum sauce leftovers, but ended up getting Chipotle because I just felt like I needed beans and lots of veggies.

Then my folks invited me over for dinner. I never say no to family dinners because I love my family and they're getting older and I fear the looming specter of death. Also my dad's a pretty good cook. He made lamb chops, steamed green beans, sliced cucumbers and tomatoes, and new potatoes. I skipped the potatoes and enjoyed the rest. There was banana pudding with vanilla wafers for dessert, of which I had just a small amount. (Yes! I didn't eat a huge amount of pudding! Successfully practicing moderation is kind of a big deal for me.)

I also went to Power Sculpt, which is a yoga/weights/aerobics class at my studio. It kicked my butt and was awesome.

On a side note, I'm doing the 21 Day Meditation Challenge (Oprah and Deepak) also, and I think meditating before work is helping me (already!) to deal with work stress.

How to get a bikini body: get a bikini and put it on your body!

Sandy, tired, home and happy!

I'm back from my Jersey Shore adventures with my buddy Karen. My Godfather and host was too busy working to overfeed us, so I was actually not faced with the problem of having lots of delicious food in front of me all the time. I also didn't go out of my way to avoid Fit Kit-verboten food. We had pizza, ice cream, and some seriously delicious pasta. I forget how good a simple bolognese can be until I go to Jersey or New York (I hear Florida has some nice Italian eats as well... Virginia definitely does not.)


There were no waves so we didn't surf, and the biking was derailed by a faulty derailleur (womp womp) but there was a lot of walking. My step counter said we walked 15000 steps on Sunday, and that's not counting the walks on the beach down to the water and back. We also did a yoga practice on the beach this morning, which was quite nice.

Long story short, I hopped on the scale today, and all is well! I haven't undone all my Arbonne work! Yay! 

We got back around 3, and after bidding a sandy and tired goodbye to Karen I cooked up the Blue Apron five-spice pork chops with purple sweet potatoes and Chinese broccoli. HOLY WOW, SO GOOD!

Half for me, half for this week's lunch!

Sleep, exercise, or eating well? Oh yeah, and work too.

Yesterday I did not make it to Maggie's first Rocket class. I packed my yoga bag full of clothes and good intentions, and about three quarters of the way through my work day had a mini panic attack and decided not to go.

See, my Blue Apron food was scheduled to be delivered, and I wanted to cook the seafood part of it so it wouldn't go bad and poison me. Also I was feeling quite tired - mostly in a psychological way, but I've learned to heed that feeling and dig in for plenty of sleep. So I opted for going home, cooking my food, and taking an early bed time.

The food was great! I made the first meal, shrimp with green beens and zaatar. It was fun chopping and sauteing, and I've never cooked fresh shrimp before. They look grey and gross and then they turn pink! Yes, I am five. I ate half and half is saved in my fridge for next week.

Right now I'm up and getting ready for stand-up paddle-boarding - an hour or so of free paddling with a few friends, and then taking SUP Fitness from 10:30 to 11:45. Burpees on a paddle board? Why not? Falling off and getting back on is half the fitness, or so I imagine.

When I get back I'm going to cook the next meal - chicken fried red rice - for storage for next week. Or I might cook the last meal, simply because I'm kind of excited about it - pork chops with plum sauce (made from fresh plums!), Chinese broccoli (which I luuuuurve) and purple sweet potatoes! Doesn't that sound kick ass? I think it does.

But I'm having a shake for lunch and then hitting the road for Ocean Grove with my buddy Karen. Dinner will be a salad some place in Jersey... and then tomorrow the real challenge begins. :) Wish me luck and have a great weekend!

Special Edition: Gross Bodily Stuff

Thing #1: My pee is bright neon yellow. I think it's cuz of vitamins; the last time it was this color was when I was taking a B12 supplement. I'm not alarmed, I know I'm hydrated.

Thing #2: I'm pooping a LOT. Like, often, and a lot. Yay fiber!

Friday Funday!

I ran out of almond milk and berries, so on my way home from my date (which was good, yay) I grabbed some overpriced fresh strawberries from CVS and threw 'em in the freezer when I got home. This morning I had them with the vanilla protein powder, and it was tres delicious. Yum!

Yesterday I opted not to go to Chipotle for lunch; instead I went to the Front Page, which is in my building. I don't know why; the food is not great. Still, they have an omelet and I figured that'd be a good lunch. I ordered the omelette of the day, forgetting that it had cheese in it. I also got veggies on the side instead of fries - they of course were covered in butter or butter substitute. The omelet wasn't very good and it made me feel kind of heavy. I've been abstaining from dairy for such a short time and I'm already noticing its effects on me now when I eat it! That's an 'a-ha' for me.

Today my Blue Apron food gets here, and I'm really looking forward to cooking some of it up. Tonight I'm taking Maggie's first Rocket class, and tomorrow I'm paddle-boarding with friends and taking a standup paddle-board fitness class. Then: the Jersey Shore! Where I really really really really want to eat a normal amount of food and not undo the work o' the cleanse. Is this stressing me out too much? Maybe.

Happy Friday and Happy Weekend!

This is a picture of some raw food I ordered one time. I ended up not liking the raw food life - in order to add calories, they used a lot of cashew butter, which is very, very heavy. So I felt bloated and also deprived, not a good combo. Still I liked getting more veggies, and the kale avocado salad was quite tasty.

Special Edition: Rule Breaking!

I know the Arbonne Fit Kit is really a series of recommendations, not rules. However I still feel like a rebel when I deviate from the plan. Here's how:

• The no eating after 7 thing: I'm at the office until 4 or so, and then I teach yoga at 7:45pm on Mondays and Wednesdays. Generally I take the 4:30 yoga class, but sometimes I can't make that one, and I take the 6pm class and then teach right after. So I gots to eat late at night sometimes. 
• Not snacking between meals. Right now I'll have a Two Moms In The Raw granola bar in the morning sometimes. It's gluten free, vegan, and wheat free. It's not sugar free. I feel ok about it though.
• Not eating any dairy. I recently signed up for Blue Apron, which is a food delivery service. Their deal is they send portioned-out ingredients and recipes, enough for three meals. One is usually fish based, one is chicken based, and one has beef or pork. And surprisingly, there aren't many dairy ingredients, but there are usually one or two. Some butter, maybe a little heavy cream. I feel though that a teensy bit will be ok. The benefit of cooking meals at home that are 90% in line with the plan outweigh the debit of eating dairy, for me. (They do have vegetarian meals also, but those usually have lots of delicious cheese in them.) 
• Not drinking alcohol. I'm not drinking alcohol! However, this weekend, I may be drinking alcohol. I'm going to the beach, as mentioned before. I might not drink any wine. But then again I might. I'm not going to go all Rumspinga on the eating this weekend, but you know. What happens in Ocean Grove stays in Ocean Grove. (It's a quiet Methodist beach town so usually what happens is ice cream and pastries. But we do drink wine on the porch.)

So that's it, all my premeditated sins exposed. :)